Tuesday, April 18, 2023

Thoughts about "Anata ga shitekure nakutemo" Ep 1 (spoiler alert!)


This is something which should probably be:

* shown at a later timeslot (10pm on a weekday is not that late)
* come with an age restriction recommendation (especially not meant to be watched by parents with their kids around)
* something that couples, married or not, may want to avoid watching together if they are having similar sexless relationship issues like the couples in this drama

First of all, given the title of the drama and the theme about sexless relationships, it is inevitable and natural for the content to be circling around the topic of having sex. And of course, this means that there would be "before-and-after" depictions of the couples' sex lives prior to and after getting married. The thing is, for the scenes to be so intimate and quite drawn out as compared to an usually mild touch-and-go approach when it comes to such scenes on private network dramas, it might be a bit too much to take for those who are younger. In particular, the scene when Yoshino Yoichi's head (Nagayama Eita) went into Michi's (Nao) top was rather mind-blowing. I couldn't help but wonder whether there was a need to go to this extent but I get it that the story was trying to contrast how passionate this couple used to be and why their lack of physical intimacy now is so much of an issue.

Secondly, for parents to be sitting through this with their kids, I think that the inability to predict the number of intimate scenes which kept popping out at regular intervals may keep them on their toes. It can be distracting and a headache for the parents to have to explain to the kids what is going on so that means that they may not be able to watch this drama in peace.

And last but not least, the drama taking a deep and brutally honest look at sexless relationships can be quite a pain for couples in the same situation to be watching it together. It can go either way from there  - the couple can talk things out through about what they saw (good conversation starter) or just try to evade the topic further as if they aren't going through the same thing.


So to summarise what happened in this first episode:

* The Yoshinos have been married for 5 years but have not had sex for the past 2 years. It is evident that the husband Yoichi is avoiding physical intimacy with his wife Michi even when she takes the initiative. However, it is not that he has no sexual urge as seen from the fact that he would rather watch adult videos secretly while Michi was asleep instead of doing it with her. Although it is hinted that he may have erectile dysfunction (ED) and he even suggested this as a reason to Michi for his low libido, she isn't convinced and feels that he is just cooking up an excuse to get her to stop pressing him for sex. 

* The thing is, Michi isn't really kicking up a fuss because she has a high sex drive. If it had been that the couple had all along been quite "cold" when it comes to their sex life, it probably wouldn't have mattered so much now for Michi that Yoichi didn't want to touch her. Precisely because they used to have a sizzling sex life, the contrast now makes Michi wonder about Yoichi's feelings and her attractiveness as a woman to him. And to add insult to injury, Yoichi's mother keeps pressing Michi to have a baby but there is nothing she can do because her husband just wouldn't have sex with her.

* My deduction as to why Yoichi is not sleeping with Michi anymore is his tendency to like "new" things. The conversation that he had with the cafe owner suggested that he doesn't see why people want to stick to the same things and have the habit of doing so because boredom would set in after some time. The familiarity with Michi over a long period of time could have made him feel less interested in her when it comes to sex even though his feelings for her may not have changed as much. And the appearance of a new woman in Yoichi's life i.e. Mishima Yuika (Sato Honami) seems like a sign that Yoichi may find new excitement through her.

* On the other end of the spectrum, Michi's boss Niina Makoto (Iwata Takanori) looks like a picture-perfect couple with his wife Kaede (Tanaka Minami) who is the assistant chief editor of a fashion magazine. He is the so-called perfect husband who takes care of household chores and even cooks for his wife despite holding a full-time job himself but she is so busy that they can't even have a proper meal together. As such, it is no wonder that this couple is also sexless. However, their story hasn't been revealed yet so as to whether there was anything else beside her busy career that led to this situation, it is still a question mark.


Now, going by the first episode's depiction of the two couples' situations, it does look pretty promising as an in-depth look into marriage and relationships and how physical intimacy matters in these situations. However, the biggest worry I have right now is whether the drama would try to justify having an affair because of the lack of sex in one's marriage. If so, it would make the drama less impactful and engaging since it would be yet another "furin" drama. The title also suggests that even if your partner does not want to have sex with you, there is an "option" to seek gratification elsewhere.

At present, the budding friendship/relationship between Michi and Makoto already looks dangerously close to the edge. Being people in the same situation allowed them to empathise with each other and form a sort of bond to support each other. The thing is, when they hesitated to meet each other for drinks at the sakura tree viewing spot the second time, the excitement that they felt about going to meet each other certainly didn't go unnoticed even though they held their horses at the last minute. And by the time when Makoto was clearly and overly concerned about Michi who was putting up a brave front after confronting Yoichi, it already looked like a path of no return for them. However, I don't think the two of them were originally attracted to each other - it's the identical situation that they are in which sped up the development of their feelings for each other.


Much as it looked like these two could become soulmates and potentially be great partners for each other, their marital status is a key factor that could make or break this story. Should they simply move on to sleeping with another person who provides emotional and physical comfort which their spouses cannot or don't want to provide, it may become something that is no more than switching partners without a care. However, if the circumstances that they are in are depicted in such a way that they really have no choice but to end their marriages and seek comfort elsewhere, it may make their actions a bit more palatable with the viewers.

Given the sensitive theme and how difficult it is to make the viewers empathise with the characters, it is too early to tell if the drama will be a hit or flop. However, the strong acting so far especially from Nao and Nagayama Eita is quite a big draw for me so I think I will be sticking around for a while. As for Iwata Takanori who is playing another character in a potential affair with a married woman after "Kingyozuma", I will probably be able to tell how he fares after the story about the Niinas is featured in the drama.

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